Going the distance.

Why do we change. As I recall my childhood days, I was a happy kid, running around teasing people, make fun of people, joking around, with a little care for the world. I was still am when I entered my secondary school. It was an all boys school, Victoria institution. Famous for their marching band, and academic achievement with a spice of sports. Most students that came out of VI do great things. I hope I will be one of them, better than them. We change because it needed to be. We change because we must. We can't stay the same, poignant to the world, live as thought you have no care. We no longer can.

A losing friend

I used to have one, 

He helped me out countless times,

he's there even when i pushed him away,

he's there even i no longer needed him,

always lingering in thoughts and never once swayed,

when no one's around,

i sat and stared..alone,

talking and never be done,

but now all there is,

is nothing but a moment of silence,

silence is a bliss they say,

a bliss that i dont hope to achieve,

is it really a bliss,

it feels more like a torment, 

a torture that i can never cope,

i missed him, i didn't realize that i had lost him,

we were close, not a day goes by without him being here,

but now all there is is a silence that i hated.

can i be forgiven,

can he come back and be here with me,

can he, or was it too late for me to ask this,

craving

I had 3 paragraphs. It should have been auto saved somehow. But its not. Now I am pissed! It suddenly when blank. And I cant do anything about it. Thank you, more please.

dramatic

i went out quite early in the morning around 10 am or so
went to LRT station Bukit jalil, on my way to watch star trek
one of my most anticipated movies for the year
i bring along my beg, change of clothes
ill be having a futsal session late in the evening with my sister's friends
that aside, i went on to pavilion with quite a pace
with no regards to check the showtime last night
due to the overwhelming confidence that there will definitely be a star trek showtime
this early morning, so i headed straight there to GSC pavilion
to my dismay, there were no showing of star trek at all not until 4 pm above
and i was like, what am i going to do for another 5 hours here!
i said to myself, its ok. The Times Square will definitely have a showing
not to repeat the same mistake again i go on and topup my phone to get a 3G connection
another cool thing happened, my 3G cant seem to get through
so i took a gamble i walked to times square, half way there my 3G was finally able to get a connection
i stopped and check the gsc website
i sat down, i let out a faint laugh, and i smiled widely as an idiot.
i clearly didnt expect that. i was supposedly watch star trek the day before
but i was very lazy to get myself ready.
lucky me, im kind a used to it. and lucky for me too i brought along my precious book
i do have some stuff that needed attention such as find a new sweater with a zipper on it
so uniqlo is my first destination, again dissappointed i was.

I had lost it

Its about time now, the time that the brain will now engulfed itself to the place it supposedly be, ready may not,  the time have come, swayed one have, swayed long it seems, rather too long indeed, gone to the place of the destined of no return and never one shall able to come back, the goals one set are far beyond reached but the journey there would be worth the while, impossible it seems, rather insane goals, however still without trying, one won't know how far can one go, without giving a shot wont one know the power one possess to reach certain, a certain point where one will say one could do more, but how far is enough to be called it a certain one can certainly never know, regardless the ending, shouldn't one care more about the beginning, how can there is an ending without a start. Time teaches one lots of things, the experience one gained never put it to waste. Wouldn't one wonder how to start, the goals may be set, crafted, or determined, impossible or not the goals are there now. one wonder when will ever one start, does one need something to help one to get a start. certain events may have let one to gain the needed push, certain talks may have let one gain the extra push. it stopped somehow, the feelings again swayed. certain occurrences have led one to believe that one may not be good enough, maybe one is just all talk, without care the action that needed to be done, the aftereffect that will led to happen in the future. does one ready to had a different future, different life, different me. the old one is rather safe, but now, one will go on a very impossible journey, it seems fun though. hopefully the journey will now begin. let us have fun then. 

I know i haven't been writing lots,
nothing much to write anyway,
been searching for some sort of inspiration that came once never,
i've been trying to get a hold of myself
and start trying to become the one i claim is me
its not easy, because if i do become this so called me
i will be alone. the thought scared me a bit.
because as of now, i like someone, she doesnt like me back of coz
and im pretty sure she doesn't reads my blog, who would.
haha, like i said i dont really have much to write.
one thing though, i hope this holiday would be good to me
as i would really love to continue pursuing what i do best
hehe.. maybe one day ill write something about her.
someone whom i cant. ;)

will it ever happen

im gonna start soon with a novel, after i get most of the ideas in the books, all the characters, the plot, the twist, the con, the scheme, i believe i had a story

im not very good with words, but ill give it a shot

ive been trying so hard to change

but the changes has been rendered motionless

as i constantly failed to uphold my changes

i did few weeks, then i slumped back to the old me

lots have happen, lots of moving notions

yet im here standing unchanged by the wavering front

be as it may i want to change

my social circle shows me that im not better

yet im not worse

however i cant stay in the in between

i must change

i must do what i must

so please help me