will it ever happen

im gonna start soon with a novel, after i get most of the ideas in the books, all the characters, the plot, the twist, the con, the scheme, i believe i had a story

im not very good with words, but ill give it a shot

ive been trying so hard to change

but the changes has been rendered motionless

as i constantly failed to uphold my changes

i did few weeks, then i slumped back to the old me

lots have happen, lots of moving notions

yet im here standing unchanged by the wavering front

be as it may i want to change

my social circle shows me that im not better

yet im not worse

however i cant stay in the in between

i must change

i must do what i must

so please help me