dramatic

i went out quite early in the morning around 10 am or so
went to LRT station Bukit jalil, on my way to watch star trek
one of my most anticipated movies for the year
i bring along my beg, change of clothes
ill be having a futsal session late in the evening with my sister's friends
that aside, i went on to pavilion with quite a pace
with no regards to check the showtime last night
due to the overwhelming confidence that there will definitely be a star trek showtime
this early morning, so i headed straight there to GSC pavilion
to my dismay, there were no showing of star trek at all not until 4 pm above
and i was like, what am i going to do for another 5 hours here!
i said to myself, its ok. The Times Square will definitely have a showing
not to repeat the same mistake again i go on and topup my phone to get a 3G connection
another cool thing happened, my 3G cant seem to get through
so i took a gamble i walked to times square, half way there my 3G was finally able to get a connection
i stopped and check the gsc website
i sat down, i let out a faint laugh, and i smiled widely as an idiot.
i clearly didnt expect that. i was supposedly watch star trek the day before
but i was very lazy to get myself ready.
lucky me, im kind a used to it. and lucky for me too i brought along my precious book
i do have some stuff that needed attention such as find a new sweater with a zipper on it
so uniqlo is my first destination, again dissappointed i was.

I had lost it

Its about time now, the time that the brain will now engulfed itself to the place it supposedly be, ready may not,  the time have come, swayed one have, swayed long it seems, rather too long indeed, gone to the place of the destined of no return and never one shall able to come back, the goals one set are far beyond reached but the journey there would be worth the while, impossible it seems, rather insane goals, however still without trying, one won't know how far can one go, without giving a shot wont one know the power one possess to reach certain, a certain point where one will say one could do more, but how far is enough to be called it a certain one can certainly never know, regardless the ending, shouldn't one care more about the beginning, how can there is an ending without a start. Time teaches one lots of things, the experience one gained never put it to waste. Wouldn't one wonder how to start, the goals may be set, crafted, or determined, impossible or not the goals are there now. one wonder when will ever one start, does one need something to help one to get a start. certain events may have let one to gain the needed push, certain talks may have let one gain the extra push. it stopped somehow, the feelings again swayed. certain occurrences have led one to believe that one may not be good enough, maybe one is just all talk, without care the action that needed to be done, the aftereffect that will led to happen in the future. does one ready to had a different future, different life, different me. the old one is rather safe, but now, one will go on a very impossible journey, it seems fun though. hopefully the journey will now begin. let us have fun then. 

I know i haven't been writing lots,
nothing much to write anyway,
been searching for some sort of inspiration that came once never,
i've been trying to get a hold of myself
and start trying to become the one i claim is me
its not easy, because if i do become this so called me
i will be alone. the thought scared me a bit.
because as of now, i like someone, she doesnt like me back of coz
and im pretty sure she doesn't reads my blog, who would.
haha, like i said i dont really have much to write.
one thing though, i hope this holiday would be good to me
as i would really love to continue pursuing what i do best
hehe.. maybe one day ill write something about her.
someone whom i cant. ;)

will it ever happen

im gonna start soon with a novel, after i get most of the ideas in the books, all the characters, the plot, the twist, the con, the scheme, i believe i had a story

im not very good with words, but ill give it a shot

ive been trying so hard to change

but the changes has been rendered motionless

as i constantly failed to uphold my changes

i did few weeks, then i slumped back to the old me

lots have happen, lots of moving notions

yet im here standing unchanged by the wavering front

be as it may i want to change

my social circle shows me that im not better

yet im not worse

however i cant stay in the in between

i must change

i must do what i must

so please help me  

Tracy mcgrady grad

blizzarding snowy

Only few posts I saw posted while browsing through my dashboard

As I too posted none for past months

Couldn't say I was busy, rather time I have solely spent

On something not very wasteful rather eventful

Pleases me not, as I have no strength to do what was told

Tiring me body and soul

On break I am, with projects I have

But none yet begin

Something stopped me from doing so

I couldn't find what it is or perhaps I was just so lazy to figuring it out

The answer is there, I chose to overlook

The key is there sitting beside a lock

I simply decided that it is not yet time

I sat still and let myself fall asleep

Promise I made upon myself every single time

Yet I broke them like a glass scattered from a fall

However, during my slumber days

A lot had happened

I am well aware of what I am

Being told so many time as it is

Bring no harm nor it bring any good

With that said, I believe so much more

That I should really be with myself alone

Alone with what I love

Which only a few knows

What they say justify what I need

The reality that I am only able to be with me

Only I is able to satisfy me

Sometime I wonder what this blog I created mean to me

Now I know, it’s a place where I can lash out

And still nobody cares

 #I who are just human. Only capable of doing what I believe that I can achieve something out of it.

I never knew I could

Who would have thought that I
Of all people
Of amongst others
Who claimed who ought to
Yet me here
puzzled with maze
Maze that was not even a complicated circle
A circle that was not even circular
Without doors to confused
Without imagination flies through
Without fantasy to distract from
A circle that was proven to be not but a simple square
I never knew that was even possible
Turns out to be
The circle will be completed
When and only when
ready when are
The cycle starts and soon end by
I never knew I could.


#believe or not to believe. As eye trust fully u must not. See not with eye but through eye it is must.