Tracy mcgrady grad

blizzarding snowy

Only few posts I saw posted while browsing through my dashboard

As I too posted none for past months

Couldn't say I was busy, rather time I have solely spent

On something not very wasteful rather eventful

Pleases me not, as I have no strength to do what was told

Tiring me body and soul

On break I am, with projects I have

But none yet begin

Something stopped me from doing so

I couldn't find what it is or perhaps I was just so lazy to figuring it out

The answer is there, I chose to overlook

The key is there sitting beside a lock

I simply decided that it is not yet time

I sat still and let myself fall asleep

Promise I made upon myself every single time

Yet I broke them like a glass scattered from a fall

However, during my slumber days

A lot had happened

I am well aware of what I am

Being told so many time as it is

Bring no harm nor it bring any good

With that said, I believe so much more

That I should really be with myself alone

Alone with what I love

Which only a few knows

What they say justify what I need

The reality that I am only able to be with me

Only I is able to satisfy me

Sometime I wonder what this blog I created mean to me

Now I know, it’s a place where I can lash out

And still nobody cares

 #I who are just human. Only capable of doing what I believe that I can achieve something out of it.

I never knew I could

Who would have thought that I
Of all people
Of amongst others
Who claimed who ought to
Yet me here
puzzled with maze
Maze that was not even a complicated circle
A circle that was not even circular
Without doors to confused
Without imagination flies through
Without fantasy to distract from
A circle that was proven to be not but a simple square
I never knew that was even possible
Turns out to be
The circle will be completed
When and only when
ready when are
The cycle starts and soon end by
I never knew I could.


#believe or not to believe. As eye trust fully u must not. See not with eye but through eye it is must.

a pebble feeble

strong you may say you are

weak as they may say you are

no matter how hard life seems at
there will be a glimmer of light always 
have one lost one's way 
when one was too occupied with the world
world of indefinite of definite
harsh world strong will
will perished world seems small
as one goes on living
despite failing
despite all odds against
one must falter not
never must one surrender
never must one give in
never must one follow others and not ones own
one will fail, one will fall
and one will be crush
does the reason enough to make one say enough?
or will it be otherwise
one will succeed, one will prevail
and one will be on top
does that give one reason to have trample others?
or will it be somewhat different
what label one to be one?
is it fame?fortune?success?accomplishment?
or is it the process of trying to have one?
the process to achieve is greater beyond the accomplishment or the fame itself?
if one do have such success
does one have the right to mock
to despise, to hate, to look down on people
as in the end
one is the only one as no fame nor accomplishment nor success help u with
without the help of Allah
without dua' one may succeed within this world but not thereafter
faith must have always as faith help one with
never faith without action
as an action without faith is an act of not knowing 
is it proof that one is strong despite weak?
or is one look strong yet so weak?
the inception of others always must not put to mind
as one is the master of ones own
if one choose to be one


#never let others choose what one are not, as choosing is a choice of ones own however always with regards of those around. 

twisted wasted

yesterday when I was stuck outside not being able to enter my own house
due to the imposed mind of mine that I accidentally hand over the precious key that open the door to a someone other than my precious. I wrote
but then all but now lost
nothing of what for 1/2 hour to be found
pity, well now I have to rewrite everything
I somehow like that post :(

i feel like morning breeze hit the warm of my body

moments again captivated
step one was thoroughly done
soon step two shall commence.


i had a journey once,
felt like i have failed, i have been wrong before, i hope was.
was i really scared to do what is necessary when its necessary
or is it just me cant handle the pressure that dwell within
im not sure why
never was. but now im glad i was wrong
wrong corrected what i thought is right
right can never prove the existence of something new
without being wrong
experiments prove that it took enormous effort to succeed
so why quit when you only failed once or twice or many times before
here we stand still living, still breathing
why bother the thoughts of not living a life when you only die once
we take chances but sometimes it goes wrong terribly wrong
sometimes we make hard choices to make our time worth
but sometimes it turns out to be worse
you failed to understand or notice behind those failures
then those failures are there meant for you taste
for you to taste the taste of defeats, lies, and life
why we fall? so we can learn to pick ourselves up.
we wont know until we fail or succeed
we wont know until we suffered or tormented
victory after defeat is the best we could hope for
nothing taste better when your effort is worth the while
worth of being a failure is to succeed even further.


#03 dont wait, because time wont. dont stall as it leave us far behind. move forward and grab what need to be done. listen and understand.

The Pain Away

There I was

Sitting down in a classroom

Filled with what people called friends

In groups, in pacts, some in pairs

It wonders me

Am I good enough to be looking away, observing others

When upfront was something much more important

Yet no attention was given

Not a moment i sit still to hear the words that being uttered

I seem to be looking down, underestimating

The gravity of the subject

By not making it any better

I overestimating my own ability due to my own past

But the future is not something I held tightly in my arms, don’t they?

The worse might happen yet

Study is bliss for those who cherish it

Hell to those who don’t give a shit

However just hearing essay being speak aloud

Interest in them I have little but none

The essay I wrote is not that good

But again I couldn’t bear hearing theirs

I’m so sorry, I’m trying but I just couldn’t

Please help me to

The hours continue, press it hard against me

I am indeed desperate

Desperate to leave this room

But how can I?

With the laughter of which I very much detest

It’s like adding fuel to a burning flame.

I am here still waiting patiently

Patiently awaits for the time

I may sound arrogant, I hope I am not

so again I am sorry

#02 doing things changes things, doing nothing leaves the thing as they were